"Bill" is separated from his family because they don't agree with his lifestyle. In reality, it's not even a lifestyle, because his partner of 15 years, a man, left him for another man because dealing with his disability (he had a stroke) caused such a strain on the relationship that they couldn't get past it.. He lost his job when people found out, even though it had absolutely no bearing on his work. Although he has two master's degrees, he works 60 hours a week split about evenly between Wendy's and McDonalds, just to pay the bills. He's lonely, angry, and afraid to open up to new people.
"Penny" is a mom with 2 children. I think they are 3 and 6. She is 7 months pregnant. She and her husband were barely making ends meet, but he worked fulltime at a factory during the day, and she worked fulltime at night, so they didn't have daycare costs. Her hours were cut back drastically recently. Then last week, her husband left the family. He not only left, but emptied the bank account and didn't pay the rent or utilities as he said that he had. She had to miss a lot of work trying to find daycare for the kids so her pay will be even lower. They are now homeless. Agencies that offer permanent housing for families, even at a shelter, have waiting lists to get in.
And then today, I spoke to "Abigale," a disabled woman with Parkinson's. She gets Social Security disability. Her husband beat her up, emptied their bank account, and left. She was left so distraught and helpless that she couldn't even do the basic things she needed to do, such as contact social security to get the payments sent elsewhere so he doesn't get it, get food stamps, etc. She needs an advocate and a lawyer. She doesn't have computer access needed to take care of things and no way to get around. The cheap phone she was given comes with 250 minutes for the month, has bad reception, and won't allow her to dial the 800 number she needs to call social security, because even though free, it's not a local number. A friend was able to get her to an agency that might help her get started on things, but even though she doesn't feel safe, they have a waiting list for housing so couldn't help with that.
When I think of people like this, people marginalized by society because it is unpleasant to think about them, it makes me sad because others can be so uncaring.. Some blame the person, others think they should just get busy improving their lives, and some deny them. Out of sight, out of mind. These people, those that deny, are the people that tend to cut back programs that are desperately needed to help this growing population.
I've known of many people that struggled through life. I remember teaching students that had been up all night the night before because, once again, the blue police light shining in the window kept them awake, long after the sound of the gunshots outside faded away. When you aren't worried about what your next meal will be, but instead IF there will be a meal that night, you have trouble getting too worked up about improving test scores. Over the course of my teaching career I had students that lived in cars, or in abandoned buildings. I had a student that didn't always get to eat between lunch Friday until he returned to school again.
As long as there are people like this in the world, how on earth can I grumble? Yet, I do. Yin and yang. There are periods I've struggled financially and periods I've been comfortable. There are times when I worry about paying bills but never worried about sleeping in my car... or worried about not having my car to sleep in.
When the yin and yang of life are the cycles of our lives, it is easier to accept than when it is members of society. "Those that have much compared to those that have little" is much harder to accept. It isn't that I think those that have more are bad or that they got it in a wrong way. I also accept that sometimes it our choices in life that determine our future. Yet, sometimes, through no fault of their own, bad things happen to some people and they struggle. How can we as humans ignore their needs?
My heart goes out to all that struggle, regardless of where you may fall in the circle. I hope that like me, you are feeling at least a little appreciative of what you have. compared to what others do not. Now, it is a part of my journey to find out what, if anything, I will do about what I have witnessed.
That just brought tears to my eyes. Some of it hit a lil to close to home. It makes u stop an think, (well if u have a heart,) this shouldnt be. I believe we r put here for reasons. Help one another an be the best person u can be. Its not as hard to do as some people think. Im not perfect an i have my moments but i think of others. Its sad that all in all not everything can be solved. People cuttin out programs that ARE needed dont help matters. I think if they were more strict on welfare an food stamps an investigated on people there would be less afdc an fs fraud. Id rather be honrst an do without than commit fraud. Ive seen many people lie an get way more than they need. Whatever happened to bein humble an thankful for what u do have? Sad.
ReplyDeletethe vast majority of those on food stamps really need it. You hear of people using them to buy expensive things.... but these people must have other sources of income to supplement it because in reality, most people barely have enough to make it through the month buying cheap things.
DeleteThis is heart-breaking, Barbara. It's sad that the people in these victims' lives were undependable and made things worse for them. And it's more sad that programs made for situations like these are considered for cutting for two reasons: abuse and mismanagement. I personally know people who abuse the system to get checks & food stamps when they don't need them. And, because of abuse, more management is required. That's expensive & sets up opportunities for the immoral to line their own pockets at the expense of those who truly need support.
ReplyDeleteThe only true way to deal with these things would be to put them in the hands of morally right people, ("right" and not "self-righteous" as there's no room to judge here), who will distribute to the people as a hand up more than a hand out. The "church" should be spending more money building hospitals and filling needs than it does in decorating & entertainment programs. On the other hand, when the churches that ARE trying to be God's hands to the world are told they can't give food to Hurricane victims because the FDA hasn't approved sandwiches as balanced meals, there's a problem. We've put too much authority into the hands of an immoral and corrupt government. Politics destroys morality and people like Bill, Sandy, and Abigail pay the price.
Personal experience: I've been homeless. I've lived through times when sleeping in a car was a blessing compared to sleeping under trees and behind buildings. I've found food in garbage cans that was wrapped and untouched & seemed like going out to eat--especially as compared to going hungry. In one instance, I couldn't get a job because no one was allowed to work without a Sheriff's ID card that cost $25--which I couldn't afford because of not working. In the other, the cost of living was more than I made at work, so I was stuck in a car. I almost ended up there again when they changed the INS laws about needing two picture IDs to work. After the wait time of getting my birth certificate, it was another 8 weeks to wait for an ID in Los Angeles. That's a lot of weeks to go without a paycheck. Someone took me in, and that's the only reason I didn't end up on the streets again.
But, while I'm frustrated with the INS program that kept me out of a job, I'm thankful someone is trying to bring balance to employing citizens over non-citizens. Still, while I don't want to see more government mandates, I could see them fixing the laws to give employers the right to hire someone and keep the money in an escrowed account until the person gets his or her ID issues taken care of. Then, of course, there would need to be some kind of guarantee a check would be cut from escrow to pay back rent before funds are released to the worker, so the employee could have a place to live while waiting for ID.
In the meantime, I believe that if each person or family would help or feed someone along the way instead of leaving it all to the government or the church, it would make a big difference. I'm blessed to have been both a receiver and a giver of home and food. (Though my mom used to ask me why I couldn't be like most kids & bring home puppies instead of people. :-) ) Sadly, I've also been used for those things, so I can understand how when the government tries to help on a much larger scale than any one of us can do as individuals, the per capita increase of users and abusers would be exponentially higher. On the other hand, I'm in contact with next generations of those I helped over thirty years ago who are grateful now for help to their parents back then. That makes it worth the risk. In a perfectly balanced world, though, every story of helping someone would work out in seeing that blessing continue generationally. But that's where the realization comes in that this is only earth and not heaven. And only on earth would there be any darkness in the balance.
It is sad, and to hear the desperation in their voices because they don't have any help is heart-breaking. Sadly, you need to be able to prove you don't have money before qualifying for food stamps! There's a whole group of people below and beyond the safety nets we supposedly have in place. These are the huddled masses living in dire situations. In the case of the family that lived in a car, the mom couldn't even get food stamps for her kids because they didn't have a permanent address.
ReplyDeleteIt just all seems backwards, doesn't it Barbara? I have a neighbor that should totally qualify for disability due to a brain injury. If you saw the denial letter, you'd laugh and cry. It sort of said, "You don't need disability because you can work a light labor job that never requires you to stand much more than a step above flat ground and doesn't require you to lift while working for an employer who will take extra time to train you (due to the extra time it takes to learn because of the brain injury) and who will need to guard you against workplace accidents." Now, tell me, where do we find this employer who is willing to babysit the new employee and will pay the extra insurance it will cost him if there is an accident that becomes a workman's comp claim? And the main is taking care of a wife and 4 kids.
DeleteOf course, the end times sign of calling good "evil" and evil "good" is in more than spiritual things. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised by our upside-down society, right?